Why is Eye Contact Important

When you think about effective communication, what comes to mind first? For most people, the phrase “make eye contact” ranks high on the list of essential skills. We’ve all heard this advice countless times—in job interviews, during presentations, or when trying to connect with others. The term “eye contact” has become so ubiquitous that it’s practically synonymous with engagement and attention.

But here’s something that might surprise you: most people aren’t actually making effective eye contact at all. What they’re doing instead is skimming or darting their eyes across the audience, creating only fleeting moments of connection that fail to truly engage.

At Suasive, we’ve developed a more precise concept called EyeConnect®. This isn’t just a rebranding of a familiar term—it represents a fundamentally different approach to how we use our eyes in communication. While traditional “eye contact” suggests merely looking at someone, EyeConnect® involves a deeper, more intentional engagement that creates a genuine person-to-person connection.

Throughout this article, you’ll notice that our headings use the term “eye contact”—this is simply because it’s the terminology most people are familiar with and search for when looking to improve their communication skills. However, the concepts and techniques we’ll explore align with our more effective EyeConnect® methodology.

By the end of this article, you’ll understand not just why your eyes matter in communication, but how to use them in a way that transforms your ability to engage, persuade, and connect with any audience. Whether you’re speaking to a crowded room, participating in a virtual meeting, or having a one-on-one conversation, mastering the art of EyeConnect® will dramatically enhance your communication effectiveness and leave a lasting impression on your audience.

Eye contact: An introduction to its role in communication

The eyes are the most impactful aspect of all human communication. When we connect with someone through our eyes, we establish trust, convey sincerity, and build rapport. This form of non verbal communication is fundamental to how we interact with others, often communicating more than our words ever could.

The power of the eyes has deep roots that extend back to the first hour of life. In their landmark book “Bonding,” pediatricians Marshall Klaus and John Kennell described a study of mothers and newborn infants. Half the mothers held their babies in an “en face” position with direct eye-to-eye engagement, while half cradled them at their sides, where babies could see only one eye.

The results were striking: babies with full eye engagement remained in what doctors called a state of “quiet alert,” focused on their mothers. Those in the second group kept “squirming and looking around.” One week later, the babies in the first group recognized their mothers more readily than those in the second.

Later research reinforced these findings, concluding that “from birth, human infants prefer to look at faces that engage them in mutual gaze.” These studies showed that even newborns demonstrate “enhanced neural processing of direct gaze,” forming “the major foundation for the later development of social skills.”

This early imprinting carries forward throughout our lives. Consider common expressions: “I like her, she looks me straight in the eye!” or “I don’t trust him, he’s shifty-eyed.” These aren’t arbitrary judgments—they reflect our understanding of the connection between eye behavior and trustworthiness.

In our communication coaching programs, we often ask participants if they would hire someone who didn’t look them in the eye during a job interview. The answer is invariably a resounding “No!” This response underscores how central eye engagement is to establishing credibility and trust.

The eyes don’t just supplement our verbal communication—they lead it. Before words are exchanged, our eyes have already begun the conversation. Understanding this fundamental aspect of human communication is the first step toward harnessing its power in every interaction.

Eye Contact Meaning

When most people think of eye contact, they imagine a simple act of looking at someone’s eyes while speaking or listening. However, this common understanding barely scratches the surface of what truly effective eye engagement means. The traditional concept of eye contact is vague and imprecise, leaving much room for misinterpretation and ineffective practice.

Unfortunately, what many people consider to be eye contact is actually just skimming—quickly glancing across an audience, letting your eyes dart from person to person without truly connecting with anyone. This behavior is so common that many speakers don’t even realize they’re doing it. They’ll scan an audience rapidly, believing they’re making good eye contact when in reality, they’re creating only fleeting, superficial connections.

We’ve all experienced this as audience members: a speaker looks in your general direction, but you don’t feel seen or engaged. Their eyes move so quickly that no meaningful connection is established. At Suasive, we’ve developed a more specific, powerful approach called EyeConnect®. This concept redefines how we use our eyes in communication by focusing on two critical elements: duration and connection.

EyeConnect® involves having a series of person-to-person conversations with your audience. Rather than scanning or skimming, you look at one person at a time and maintain that connection until you feel what we call “the click”—that moment when you sense your eyes truly engaging with theirs. True connection happens when you look at a person until you feel the ‘click’ of your eyes with theirs. This is what we call EyeConnect®. It’s about extending the duration of time that your eyes are connected to the other person’s eyes, creating a genuine person-to-person conversation.

This approach transforms a presentation from a one-to-many broadcast into a series of meaningful one-to-one connections. When you practice EyeConnect®, you’re not just looking at your audience; you’re connecting with individuals within it, one person at a time.

The duration component is crucial. Most people break eye connection too quickly, before any meaningful engagement can occur. With EyeConnect®, you extend that duration intentionally, staying with each person just long enough to establish genuine connection without crossing into uncomfortable staring.

A powerful example of this technique can be seen in John Chambers, former CEO of Cisco Systems. During presentations, Chambers would step off the stage and move through the audience, making deliberate EyeConnect® with individual audience members. This approach created such powerful engagement that audience members often described feeling as though he was speaking directly to them personally, even in a room of hundreds.

The difference between traditional eye contact and EyeConnect® becomes immediately apparent when you experience it. While eye contact might make an audience member think, “The speaker is looking at me,” EyeConnect® makes them feel, “The speaker is connecting with me.” This distinction transforms ordinary presentations into memorable, impactful experiences.

By redefining eye contact as EyeConnect®, we move beyond vague advice to make “good eye contact” and instead provide a specific, actionable technique that dramatically enhances communication effectiveness. This meaningful connection is what turns ordinary speakers into those who command attention, build trust, and create lasting impact.

Why is Eye Contact so Powerful?

The power of maintaining eye contact cannot be overstated. When you connect with someone through your eyes, you create a profound neurological and emotional response. There’s profound science behind why our eyes play such a crucial role in human interaction and why mastering EyeConnect® can transform your communication effectiveness.

The power of eye connection begins with our fundamental human development. When you make EyeConnect® with someone, you’re establishing a connection that has been essential to human interaction since infancy. This engagement helps your audience not only hear your message but truly receive it. As demonstrated in the studies by pediatricians Klaus and Kennell, proper eye engagement creates a state of focused attention and receptiveness, similar to the ‘quiet alert’ state observed in infants during direct eye contact with their parents. This explains why meaningful eye connection creates a sense of understanding between individuals and why audiences become more engaged when experiencing proper EyeConnect®.

As noted in our discussion of early human development, the infant-parent eye relationship establishes one of our most fundamental human connections. When a parent holds a newborn in the en face position, where both of the baby’s eyes engage with both of the parent’s eyes, the infant enters what pediatricians call a state of “quiet alert.” In this state, the baby remains focused and attentive rather than squirming or looking around.

This “quiet alert” state is remarkably similar to what happens when a presenter makes powerful EyeConnect® with audience members. Just as the infant becomes calm and focused through eye connection, audience members become more attentive and engaged when a speaker creates genuine EyeConnect® with them. They’re drawn into a state of focused attention that makes them more receptive to your message.

The power of proper eye connection to create instant rapport cannot be overstated. When you make EyeConnect® with someone, you communicate several powerful messages simultaneously without saying a word: “I see you,” “I’m speaking to you personally,” and “What I’m saying matters to you specifically.” These implicit messages create an immediate sense of connection and relevance.

Studies in interpersonal communication have shown that people who make strong eye connection are consistently rated as more confident, competent, and trustworthy than those who don’t. This perception isn’t just about cultural norms—it’s tied to our evolutionary development, where eye connection served as an important signal of attention, intention, and trustworthiness.

Perhaps most remarkably, proper eye connection creates a physiological synchronization between individuals. Research has documented that sustained eye connection can synchronize human brain activity between two people, creating a type of neural alignment. This synchronization helps explain why eye connection feels so powerful—it literally brings our brains into harmony with one another.

Why do We Value Eye Contact?

We value eye connection because it serves as the foundation of trust in human interaction. When someone makes proper EyeConnect® with us, we instinctively feel they’re being honest and transparent. This connection taps into our primal need to assess others’ intentions and trustworthiness.

Eyes reveal authenticity in ways that words alone cannot. The common phrase “the eyes are the windows to the soul” reflects this understanding—we intuitively recognize that genuine feelings and intentions are reflected in someone’s eyes. In business settings, proper eye contact skills can be the difference between a presentation that falls flat and one that inspires action. In personal relationships, it can communicate love, understanding, and support without saying a word. When a speaker makes true EyeConnect®, their authenticity becomes immediately apparent, creating a bridge of credibility with the audience. It creates a natural eye contact play between speaker and audience, allowing you to read reactions in real time and adjust your content based on feedback. This responsive dynamic increases audience retention and builds trust and credibility.

In professional settings, EyeConnect® transforms presentations from one-way information delivery to engaging conversations. Audience members who experience genuine EyeConnect® consistently report feeling more personally invested in the presentation. They’re more likely to remain attentive, retain information, and respond positively to calls to action.

This powerful engagement explains why we automatically trust those who make strong EyeConnect® and tend to be suspicious of those who don’t—our instincts recognize the fundamental role of eyes in meaningful human connection.

What does Eye Contact Say About a Person?

Eye connection speaks volumes about a person’s character and capabilities. Someone who makes strong EyeConnect® is immediately perceived as confident, trustworthy, and competent. These perceptions aren’t merely subjective—they’re consistent across many cultures and contexts, suggesting they tap into fundamental human judgment systems.

The ability to initiate eye contact appropriately shows social intelligence and confidence. It tells others that you’re engaged in the conversation and confident in what you’re saying. Eye behavior provides powerful signals about listening and respect. When someone maintains EyeConnect® while you’re speaking, you feel heard and valued. Conversely, when they look away frequently, you likely feel dismissed or unimportant, regardless of their words.

In professional settings, the implications are significant. Would you hire someone who couldn’t make EyeConnect® during an interview? Most wouldn’t. Customer-facing roles particularly require strong eye connection skills, as they signal attentiveness and build trust with clients.

Leaders with strong EyeConnect® are consistently rated as more effective, while those with weak eye connection are often perceived as lacking confidence or having something to hide—judgments that can significantly impact career advancement opportunities.

Overcoming Challenges with Eye Contact

Many people struggle with making effective eye contact, whether due to shyness, cultural differences, or simply never having been taught proper eye contact skills. If you find yourself looking away quickly during conversations or presentations, you’re not alone.

Fortunately, EyeConnect® is a skill that can be developed with practice. Begin by becoming conscious of your current eye behavior. Notice how quickly you break connection in conversations. Awareness is the first step toward improvement.

Practice with friends or family in a comfortable setting to develop a sense of how much eye contact feels natural and engaging.

Try this simple exercise: Gather a small group of colleagues and practice making EyeConnect® with each person in turn. Ask them to nod when they feel you’ve truly connected with them. Initially, this will feel uncomfortable—your time warp will make each connection seem awkwardly long—but that’s the Comfort Zone Paradox: what feels uncomfortable to you looks comfortable to others.

Remember that EyeConnect® isn’t about staring intensely. It’s about genuine connection. If you feel anxious, focus on one eye rather than trying to look at both simultaneously. This can reduce discomfort while still creating effective connection.

What are the Benefits of Eye Contact?

The benefits of proper EyeConnect® extend far beyond simply following communication best practices. Perhaps most surprisingly, making strong EyeConnect® transforms your entire face. When you engage your eyes correctly, your face naturally becomes more expressive. Your eyebrows move, your forehead and cheeks become animated, and your entire countenance conveys greater emotion and authenticity.

This phenomenon occurs because eye engagement acts as the control center for facial expressiveness. Our clients often show dramatic before-and-after differences—after learning EyeConnect®, their previously static faces become dynamic and engaging without any instruction specifically about facial expressions.

For audiences, the benefits are equally significant. Proper EyeConnect® creates a sense of personal connection that keeps viewers engaged throughout your presentation. They feel seen, valued, and personally addressed rather than just part of a crowd.

For speakers, EyeConnect® helps naturally regulate pacing. The time spent connecting with individual audience members creates natural pauses that improve rhythm and allow key points to land with greater impact. This not only improves delivery but also reduces anxiety by providing structured moments to collect thoughts.

Additionally, EyeConnect® enhances perceived confidence and credibility. Audiences consistently rate speakers who use strong EyeConnect® as more knowledgeable, trustworthy, and persuasive than those who don’t, even when delivering identical content.

Why is Avoiding Eye Contact Bad?

Avoiding eye connection significantly undermines your communication effectiveness. When you fail to make EyeConnect®, your credibility and trustworthiness immediately come into question. Audiences wonder: “Why won’t they look at me? Do they lack confidence in their message? Are they hiding something?”

Without proper EyeConnect®, the critical bridge between speaker and audience remains unbuilt. Your message becomes a one-way broadcast rather than a meaningful exchange. Even the most compelling content loses impact when delivered without eye connection, as audiences feel disconnected from both the message and messenger.

Your facial expressiveness also suffers when you avoid eye connection. As noted earlier, eye engagement drives overall facial animation. Without it, your delivery becomes flat and monotonous, regardless of vocal variety or gestures.

Learning to break eye contact appropriately is just as important as learning to maintain it. Strategic breaks allow natural processing time and prevent staring, but excessive breaking of eye contact can signal discomfort or dishonesty.

Perhaps most concerning, avoiding EyeConnect® can create a negative feedback loop. When audiences sense disengagement, they become disengaged themselves—looking at phones, thinking about other matters, or simply tuning out—which further diminishes your presentation’s effectiveness.

What is Inappropriate Eye Contact?

Not all eye behavior creates positive connection. The most common mistake is skimming—quickly glancing across faces without ever establishing genuine connection. While speakers often believe they’re making good eye contact when skimming, this approach fails to create meaningful engagement and can actually signal nervousness or insincerity.

Similarly, darting eyes—rapidly shifting from one place to another—convey uncertainty and lack of confidence. This behavior makes audiences uncomfortable and undermines your message’s credibility.

At the opposite extreme, staring too intensely or for too long can be equally problematic. Too much
eye contact or prolonged eye contact makes people uncomfortable. Research from Queen Mary University of London found that direct gaze is enjoyable for only about three seconds before becoming uncomfortable.

Cultural considerations also matter. In some cultures, particularly in parts of Asia and among some indigenous communities, extended direct eye contact can be perceived as aggressive or disrespectful, especially with authority figures. When communicating across cultures, be attentive to these differences and adjust your EyeConnect® approach accordingly.

How can I Improve My Eye Contact during Virtual Meetings?

Virtual meetings present unique challenges for eye connection. When video is involved, we use the term CamConnect® rather than EyeConnect®. The principles remain the same, but the application differs in important ways.

The most critical aspect of CamConnect® is looking directly at your webcam, not at the faces on your screen. This feels counterintuitive—we naturally want to look at the people we’re speaking to—but looking at the screen creates the appearance of looking down or away from your audience. When you look directly at the webcam, your virtual audience experiences true eye connection.

Position your webcam at eye level for optimal CamConnect®. When your camera is too low (as with most laptop built-in cameras), you create a “looking down” effect that can appear domineering. When it’s too high, you appear to be looking up, which can diminish your authority. For best results, use an external webcam on a small tripod or mount it directly above your primary screen.

Frame yourself properly in the video. Your face should take up approximately two-thirds of the frame, with just the top of your torso visible. This framing makes you dominant in your screen and enhances your executive presence. If you position yourself too far from the camera or show too much of your surroundings, you diminish your visual impact and authority. Remember that body language remains important even in virtual settings. Sit up straight, lean slightly forward to show engagement, and use natural gestures to emphasize points.

Proper lighting is essential for effective CamConnect®. Overhead lighting creates shadows that obscure your eyes—the most important communication tool. Add a table or floor lamp positioned to illuminate your face evenly. A simple white paper placed flat on your desk can bounce additional light upward, eliminating shadows.

To maintain connection without staring, drag the gallery view of participants to the top of your screen just below the webcam. This minimizes the distance your eyes move when glancing at participants while still allowing you to read reactions and adjust accordingly.

Maintain CamConnect® for most of your presentation, occasionally looking away to avoid staring. Constant eye contact with the camera can seem unnatural or intense, so remember to create natural breaks by occasionally glancing at notes or visuals before returning to the camera.

Conclusion

Effective eye connection is far more than a social nicety—it’s the foundation of impactful communication. Through this article, we’ve transformed the vague advice to “make good eye contact” into a specific, actionable technique: EyeConnect®. By understanding that true connection comes from extending the duration of eye engagement until you feel that “click” with each member of your audience, you can dramatically enhance your communication effectiveness.

Remember that most people aren’t actually making effective eye contact—they’re skimming or darting, creating only superficial connections. When you practice proper EyeConnect®, you stand out immediately. Your message gains credibility, your face becomes more expressive, and your audience feels genuinely engaged.

The benefits extend across every communication context. In in-person settings, EyeConnect® creates powerful person-to-person conversations, even in large groups. In virtual environments, CamConnect® helps you maintain that same level of engagement despite the technological barriers.

We encourage you to practice EyeConnect® deliberately. Start with low-stakes conversations and gradually apply these techniques in more challenging settings. Notice how your connections strengthen and your impact increases. Consider recording yourself to observe the difference in facial expressiveness that naturally occurs with proper eye engagement.

EyeConnect® isn’t just a technique; it’s a transformation in how you connect with others. Master it, and you’ll never approach communication the same way again.

Suasive, Inc. is a Silicon Valley-based communication consulting company that offers public speaking and storytelling workshops for organizations and individuals.

To date, we’ve coached over 600 IPOs and helped individuals in some of the world’s largest companies including Netflix, eBay, Sonos, Lyft, and Freshworks.

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